Boats are fun! Not for you, though. For you, they suck. | 1.7 morning | Amelie, Aurelia

[Amelie Castell]

Amelie was moving about normally now. Sure, her ankle still tweaked from time to time, but she had battled through it and would continue to do so. It helped that she was surrounded by people she loved right now, and not just family. Victor Castell had seen it in his heart, the one she never pegged him to have, to allow his cousin to travel with them to Orqua. Aurelia was here as well which made Amelie as happy as she possibly could be. Though, she had a feeling her friend wasn’t feeling as enthused about it right now. It was interesting to discover that Aurelia really hated boats… Amelie felt guilty for begging her to step foot on one for her.

“Christopher says we’re making good time,” she said to her friend, meeting her in her cabin and entering without knocking. “We’ll be arriving in two days. How are you feeling?”

[Aurelia Whitstone]

This trip was only five days long. Only five days of sailing before she’d arrive in Orqua and put her feet back on land. Five days was short enough for the ample supple of ginger root she’d brought to keep her from suffering as much as she had on the last voyage.

Then again, she’d been suffering from more than Mhare on the last one.

At Amelie’s voice, Aurelia lifted her head and forced a smile. “I’m not dying yet, and thankfully this trip is short enough I might make it through unscathed. I will be happier than I ever thought at seeing the city of Orqua appear on the horizon. And you, Amelie?” Aurelia asked her eyes lowering to her friend’s belly. “How are you feeling?”

[Amelie Castell]

Amelie quickly moved to sit beside Aurelia, selfishly happy that her friend was enduring this for her sake. “It is strange to think that it is now my home…” she admitted. “I don’t think it ever truly shall be. My childhood home is still Saefa, and it still belongs to the Mallorys. And my new home shall be with my husband,” her dearest Larson. “I don’t think Orqua will be more than some place I stayed in for a while. I was too sick for the first part of it anyway, I shan’t remember most of it.”

She looked down at her stomach and forced a smile. “I’ve been keeping busy. It helps not to think about it sometimes… Though, there are other moments when I’ve nothing to do and the pain just washes over me again. Then I cry for a time and think of what could have been. And then it passes and I find something else to keep me busy.”

[Aurelia Whitstone]

“Alska was supposed to be my home too, but it never felt that way. I wasn’t there long, but I don’t think I’d ever come to love it the way I did Vadra. I hope that Nemea is different, but something tells me that deep down only Vadra will ever hold a special place in my heart. I have so many memories there. And no matter how much I distance myself from my family, they are still my family. The Severnes never will be, even with my sister as their lady.”

Aurelia nodded. Keeping busy was the only way to deal with one’s pain. “I was told your cousin Devlin likes to bake. And you know I cook. Aviana mentioned that to me anyway. I was thinking of trying to meet him just to see what he might show me. You should come with. Spend time doing something, even if the skill is completely worthless when you think about it.” Aurelia laughed, more at herself. She personally couldn’t understand why more of the nobility didn’t care about what was put in there food.

[Amelie Castell]

She nodded, thinking back on Alska. It seemed so long ago. She remembered having just come from the chantry then, travelling with her brother for the first time since. Court had seemed so frivolous, the people doubly so. She once pitied all of them for taking themselves too seriously. Then, she also hated the Castells with so much passion, it was impossible to see her ever looking passed the prejudice to actually fall in love with one of them. “I think that is true. Trista will be nice because it is where Larson is… but Saefa is Saefa. I guess it’s different for me in that my family went to Orqua… But we ladies were never really meant to stay with family, now were we. We’re meant to go off and make our own…”

Amelie nodded. She wasn’t exceptionally close with Devlin, but everybody knew that about her quietest of cousins. “I think he should be amenable to that, though don’t be surprised if he says no more than three words to you. A Mallory by blood, no doubt, but he certainly isn’t like the rest of us.”

[Aurelia Whitstone]

“We were meant to go off and make someone else’s family,” Aurelia corrected, not that she was bitter. Ozzie did not want children. He’d made that clear enough. And she was never meant to be a mother. She knew that much about herself. She and Ozzie would rule Nemea and when he died, House Severne would pick another lord to take his place.

And then where will I go?

It was the first time the thought had crossed her mind. Perhaps as a widow instead of a ward, she could return to Vadra and live out her older age with her family. If Amalthia let her live that long; if she outlived Ozzie. Aurelia pushed the thought away. To already be thinking of death… although not hard considering how close she kept coming to it.

“You will have to come to Atra, visit me sometime. Keep yourself away from the snake pit long enough to stay normal.”

[Amelie Castell]

The thought of making family was yet another that made Amelie frown. Larson had made it clear that having children was difficult for him… And there she’d been, pregnant with his child… And she’d gone and fallen down the stairs. What if they couldn’t make babies anymore? Worse, what if he hadn’t been the problem, but now because of her miscarriage, she would be the problem now? She bit her lip, unable to hide all of her worry and fear over it. Unlike Aurelia, Amelie felt as if being a mother was what she was born to do. She could not imagine living out her life without having a child or two.

“I am sure we’ll see one another many times. And like I said, I will be more vigilant about writing. We’ll have to be sure we keep each other normal.”

[Aurelia Whitstone]

Aurelia gave Amelie have a smile, “Normal? Perhaps for you, my friend, but I will never be normal again. Only a shadow of myself, although for you I plan to try. Perhaps this trip to Orqua, being away from my Severne escort, will help me remember some of myself. And I’ll have to play dodge the Castell as well, for they offered to come early didn’t they? You might love Larson, but I have yet to find a place in my heart for Evelyn or her family.”

Or especially Victor. With what she learned from Aelina, the man was a monster. Then again, she had plenty of experience with monsters.

“I will write you often though, Amelie. And Avery as well. Once we are settled in.”